if you ask me, im ready ...

well I haven't posted in about two months .. but I can tell you babe blog that I'm going to
continue to write more often :) you have my word ! sooo, in the las two months . mmhm
I have graduated :) this was the most hectic year of high school . I know that my faith
and god took me a longgggggg way ! I'm jst very grateful that I was able to graduate on
time .. I will always beat a struggle :) ! mhm, I also turned 18 july second :) it was the best
birthday thus far lol :) so I'm out of school, an adult .. what's next ? a r m y babbbby ! lol, if you
ask me .. I'm ready LOL . meanwhile, waiting to leave . I'll be focusing on passing my drivers test.
working, and staying out of trouble :) I can say life is great :) and I'm thankful to be on this earth
and thankful god is letting me live life :) !

my fav songs of the moment :
justin bieber/ common denominator
wale ft. jcole. currensy / rather be w. you
katy perry/ california gurls
justin nozuka/ my heart is yours
B.O.B ft. janelle monae/ the kids
empire of the sun/ the thrill
shanelle/ impossible
alicia keys/ unthinkable
lil wayne ft. nicki minaj/ knockout

these songs make me feel a certain way when I listen to them ..
they're all pretty amazing artist :) !

well blogio lol . I'll talk to you in a bit :)
from the wonderful city of Las Vegas , casino kisses :$

i admit it, THIS IS THE REASON WHY I CAN'T LET HIM LOVE ME, BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE W. ANOTHER MAN!

A R M Y S T R O N G !

with graduation four weeks away life only gets that more exciting and hectic ! LOL;

i'm such a cry bby lol, i cry over anything! LOL; im a tough girl though . lol;
okaaeeee, okaeeee i cant wait for the hills and the city tonight ;)! OH LETS DO IT! AYE lol, but this wknd i had a blast, we watched the fight and it was cool, although i thought mosely was done for earlier in the rounds BUT he stuck it out still lost though, lol ! mayweather is FINE! lol *SN* lol; and then Daya, boy oh boy Daya! lol; now that's what im talking about! 22 well put together, in school, goal oriented ! yuh, we're on that! lol; i feel like a player lol, i'm not! GUYS JUST CRUSH A LOT! lol; but on a SN i'm not settling, just having fun & every guy understands im celibate, so that's a good thing!


*sidetracked* i just started speaking fluent spanish to my mom, lmao!
these lessons im getting are great!

WHEN I SAY LAKE you SAY ERRRRRRRRRRRS! LAKEEEEEEE ..... "ERRRS". lol;

i love everyone, and i love life! it's so great, yeah i have some personal issues but my life overall is beyond amazing and i'm so glad that God let's me enjoy every second! i put everything in his hands and let go and let God! :)


p.s. did you know residents of vegas are called vegans? LMAO! funny.
welllllllllp, that's all for now!
p.s.#2 USHER CD BAAAAAAAAAAMB!

honesty blog part one !

Kae, guys I'm writing via mobile web so bare with me ;)!

Okae, so I've never let anyone really know how I've really been feeling. Just trying to cover up everything, but they say the truth shall set you free, so I'm hoping that'll happen. I tell my close friends everything but I didn't touch on this subject much cause I couldn't talk about it without crying! I'm not the type to quickly let go, first I have to actually accept.reality and cry then cope, more crying and more coping, I even tried talking shit, but its nothing that I can say because he was flawless to me, so I never noticed bad qualities. I only noticed wierd little things like after he talks his teeth click together, or when he eats sometimes his eyes get lazy or he always chews on the right side, and when something is nasty he makes a sour face and smacks and sticks his tounge out lol, or when he drive he raps w. His hat like jeezy and his hands go wild, or the fact he's not a drive through type of guy lol! The little things always meant more to me! I guess I was so hurt, I made him out to be someone he's not! He's really an amazing person, sure he's cocky and rude and arrogant but he's a goal oriented guy that just wants the best out of life, but I can say one thing I disliked that he did was lying to me. Its like I've known you for damn near four years and dated you for damn near three and the fact you felt like you couldn't be honest with me was a kick in the face. I think everything wouldve ended on a smoother note. Honesty hurts, sure it does but lying to me and then I find out the truth hurts even more. I just don't think it was fair to me.its really funny how someones success brings pain! Never in my life did I think I'd be kissing another guy or calling someone else babe. Neither did I think you'd be deeply in love , making marriage plans or wanting to have kids with someone other than me. But things happen and people change, I guess its for the better but idk! I just never thought it would happen! I swear sometimes I wish I could change the hands of time and make everything new, but w. You and I ! I guess to say that I'm over you, wouldn't make this an honesty blog cause I'd be lying. I wish the feeling was mutual though. Just reading every letter you've ever wrote me or every card you've ever given makes it that much harder! I don't want to dwell on the past but remember when we made our youtube videos and you were like I'd drive through your ass lol, good times ! We'd always say that .. Okae, enough of remember when's! Honestly though, I'm happy he's happy ! I really am, I'm just sad that I have nothing to do with that! I guess its cause I still love him, ;/ I wish I didn't because I know for a fact the feeling isn't mutual! But I am sorry for everything I've said, I can't take it back but I can say I didn't mean it! I do wish you nothing but success and happiness in life, and I'm glad you're happy ...

To be continued ....

April 28th, 2010 !

seeeeeeeeee, GOD is GOD for a reason ;)

i had an interview today ;) if i get this job, everything will be perfect .
perfect career path, perfect guy, and perfect job ;) 3 things that are great!
LOL ! it's amazing when something happens and you think life can't go up! & then all of a sudden life makes a comeback and everything turns out perfect (:

*happy sighhhhhh* ;D !
if i could put my feeelings into a song it would beeeeeeeee :
robin thicke-shaking it for daddy ! lmao, just kidding, honestly it would be - john mayer- your body is a wonderland (:

i'm slowly falling, but my heart's not on my sleeve,
i hope i don't get to deep before my date to leave,
you're such a precious gift, you've helped me clear my mind;
you've showed me a new path, in such little time!
i hope you stick around, i'm not saying forever !
but i can tell you, i love our time more, when it's spent together!
i know my heart isn't back to whole, but what's there you can have it!
i just know that i love this, even if you become a bad habit ! haha POETRY POPPIN'.! lol,

just know, you're probably reading this jose and i like YOU A LOT! it's only been a month and some days since we've been talking so of course it's not love, BUT just know you have my undivided attention, and i should mention, that your body is a wonderland ;)! haha,

I remember January first,2010 ! 12:04 a.m. i was in church and all i remember our pastor saying was that this will be the year everything is returned to you in a different form ! & i believe that, i literally remember being completely happy around May ! that's a couple of days away from a year ago ! where did all of my happiness go? i don't know ! He literally broke me down to my knees, and kicked me to make sure i was down ! but i'm such a strong individual that it's going to take more than a kick to keep me down! i promise, GOD is on my side and he always will be so i never worry because i can do all things through him who strengthens me ;)! my happiness was completely GONE but i'm getting that happiness back through an amazing guy by the name of jose michael bojorquez and he's so amazing. i've never dated anyone like him so it's new for me. i have the army in my life now, it's so cool everything i'm learning. i've never knew this side of life cause i was always jst worrying about my ex and his antics. (sidenote: ladies, never put a BOY before your own needs, notice i said boy and not man)! this guy, he's so passionate and i love the fact he reads, he skates, and he's smart! NOT too many guys can fall under that and make it amazing, but he does ;)!

other things going on in my life : I FINALLY GRADUATE IN JUNE! my senior year has been the rockiest year of my highschool life,to almost dropping out to become a med.assistant to paying a grip of money for homeschooling, to being a freshmen all over again in texas, to crying my eyes out everyday jst worried about what im going to do, it happened but it's working out perfectly fine now! i'm with my class and im holding a 3.7 GPA! so yes life is great! the army in august, i think i want to leave before then, and i will if they let me! a walk for aids in MAY ;)! new friends in my life [mrs.azsha ortega smith]LOL! my birthday is so closeeee lol, mother's day is approaching ;)! summer is extra close! SOOOO MUCH! i plan on moving to honululu when i get in the military ;)! guys lifeeeee is so amazing ! im so thankful for everything that happened, GOD is so good i promise, he is! if you're struggling with something, seek him ! sure you're family and friends can give you advice BUT only god has the answer . trust me i know !

I've matured a lot since a certain situation, and i still have some more maturing to do, but i can say i'm grateful because my life is just beginning, i'm almost 18 and i want to be a responsible adult . i've learned a lot about myself, staying away from the drama and jst letting all of the positivity in ;) everything is starting to come together, and that's a blessing! I'm gaining friends ;) i rarely talk to kids at my school though because we're there for a reason and i don't need distractions. but when im out on the town, i conversate and people are so friendly, NOT completely letting everyone in though ! i just know that my direction of life, is a great path! i actually kinda feel like THE ROAD NOT TAKEN-edgar allen poe ! i've never taken this road, i've taken other roads more than once, but never this road and i'm feeling so great about this! my child will be so proud of me, i guarantee that!

p.s. i'll be blogging a lot now ;)!

emotional rollercoaster --

CURRENTLY PLAYING : MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL !

im on a rollercoaster and it's almost time to get off but the crazy thing is as scary as this ride was i jst want to keep on going on and on and on ... BUT the reality is it's going to stop at some point and unfortunately that point is now !
I remember when i was in line for this ride, i was like a kid in a candy store ! i got on and got off plenty of times in fear i'd get sick to my stomach and never want to try anything new again ! BUT it was something about this one ride, it had me from jump and i finally took a risk at not trying anything new i got on and it all began .... it went up and down up and down up and down but i loved the feeling it gave me while it was causing me to curl up in my seat ! 2 and a half minutes and the ride is up! i wanna go one more time but there's other people in line ...

SIX INCH WALKA BIG SHIT TALKA !

you`ll regret .. & i`ll make sure you suffer ..