end of july ..

well my mom "says" we're moving to texas;
honestly at first i was all against it;
but now i dont even care any more. i jst want
to graduate and jst go about my business;
... seems as if everything is going downhill anyway
so whatever . im ready for it; well you know the outro by now



VOGUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

BACK AT IT ..

argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue argue

thats all we do every single day . EVERY SINGLE DAY! are you tired of it , cause i am . jst finding shit to be wrong . is fucking pointless; i`m sick and tired of holding my tounge; do you need to work on yourself? cause im tired of back to back arguments. you`re lowkey accusing me of hiding something . WHAT IS THERE TO HIDE? you should know me better than that, and if you don`t know that i wouldn`t hide nothing from you ; then wtf are we doing? it`s killing US that you really find the need to pick at every little thing . BUT last night; all those tweets about missy and all of the other sexual things you were saying . did i say one thing about it? NO; you`re so fucking double standard and it`s really taking a toll on the relationship . YOU CLAIM YOU`LL CHANGE but are you jst saying that to get me back or what; cause i`m jst not seeing a change; & idk if you want to make this work or not, but if you do; i suggest some adjustments . not saying you have too; but to save us all the drama i highly suggest you do soo . & UNTIL THEN


VOGUEEEEEEEEEEEE!

one . two . three;

good after-noon!
well guess my reaching out failed as well;
WELL guess it's really time to go ...
everything isn't always promised;

BUT on another note;
im going see my sisters
keeper , i have a feeling im going to cry .
awwww ;|. well thats it for now

VOGUEEEEEEEEE!

signify O .

this is my signify O [significant other]. we fight jst about every single day;
but my love for him is beyond words; feelings; us. i don`t need him, BUT i want him
in all the ways possible; sometimes i jst can`t deal . to the point that i don`t even want to come back; BUT then i jst start thinking and all the memories . they kick in every single one, like october twenty-fifth '07 . the first day we started going out . or like your airforce meeting walking through the park and playing volleyball . or meeting your parents for the first time; how scared i was . or that same day with that cookie and coke in my hand 'YOU LOOK SO BIG'. lmao, how funny . so i start smiling and jst realize how great you are; ALTHOUGH you can be the biggest asshole x's four, i still can`t find myself to be without you for a long period of time . i know how you adore when i make decisions well HERE GOES THE BEST DECISION i`ve made all night; i love you and you`re my boyfriend :).

Good Morning .

well it's like 1:15 but i woke up @ 12:56 so like its the afternoon .. anyways
i couldn`t go to sleep last night . thoughts wouldn`t go away . i went to sleep at like five almost six . crazy . still not understanding . i jst want to move far away , away from everything and everyone ; BUT i have a life that needs to be lived, and like you said "the world doesn`t stop for anyone". so back to square one, with a whole new beginning and a whole new approach towards everything . well jst an early morning blog .


VOGUEEEEEEEEE!

Late Night THOUGHTS ...

I'm a smart young woman with a nice future ahead of herself;
i have goals and i will be successful, doesn`t have much but also
doesn`t ask for much and it still seems as if its not enough or never
will be enough for others. I can`t stress how i try to be the perfect
girlfriend and try to be the shoulder to cry on and its still not enough.
i`m not a gold digger . but i also can`t give much . and i thought you understood
that . i`m jst not getting where i made a mistake; i`m imperfect like the rest of
the world; but i`m loving and caring and willing to go that extra mile; but i jst
don`t understand where i went wrong . it`s so crazy i promise .i promised myself i
wouldn`t talk or blog about it but i jst can`t hold it in another second. it`s a really stressful situation and i don`t know how i brought it upon myself; it`s crazy; i jst don`t know how far i`ll go before i'll want to blow up; along with moving on comes with memories everytime you look, hear, or touch something or someone . trying to hide feelings that you know will be there for a while . trying to stay positive when everything around you seems negative . trying to focus cause if i daydream all i think and see is you . going places cause i know we`ve been there before . going back to the school where i`ll have the same teachers you had . sitting in the same seat you sat in . listening to music i normally listen too cause every song i listen to reminds me of you or something you did or said . twittering an update after you cause it will feel like i only tweeted so you can acknowledge my presence . picking up the phone because all i`ll want to dial is your number . logging on to myspace cause all i`ll do is go check for your recent updates and comments. but i won`t log onto your name cause i`ll think you`ll know im on it . all of that comes along with moving on . TRUTH IS i don`t even want to move on . but i see there`s no other option . cause it`s what you want right; second year in a row i`ve been in love with you and you`re missing my birthday AGAIN . well i can`t even find an ending point to this blog cause all i want to do is jst write about how i feel but there`s so many emotions going inside of me that i`ll meet the end of my characteristics even though i doubt there`s an ending to them . i mean i love you so much ; but i jst don`t know . DON`T KNOW WHAT ? i don`t know . all i know is that i love you .....

SENIOR YEAR

there's only two months left of summer; actually i think it's less than that but yea
i'm really switching it up this year; dressing to impress EVERY single day; no if ands or buts; i want to; SCRATCH that i will be the baddest to step on school property; i will have every dude wanting;& every bitch hating; *COUNT ON IT;

im still going to be me; jst with a whole new outlook and approach to the fashion world; this is a new beginning & i'm so excited;

BITTERSWEET .

"you fuckin them girls, disrespecting me?
You don't see how your lies are affecting me?
You don't see how our life was supposed to be?
And I never let a nigga get that close to me!
And you ain't cracked up to what you was supposed to be!
You always gone! You always be where them hoes would be!"


EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON; all you have to do is jst move
foward . there's no need to look back ;

& THIS TIME IT WASN`T ME! but hey, NO HOLLABACKS! lol,
it's summer time , feeling good, looking good, shit i'm good .

my birthday is a week from today; idk what im going to do yet;
treat myself to something nice ;].


SATURDAY-im definitely going to go see my sister's keeper; i'm like really dying to seee it , it would be cool if someone joined me, but if i have to go by myself by all means i will .


*SHOUTOUT to keri hilson for a great cd (IN A PERFECT WORLD). not better than beyonce but shoot its goood . i like it .

R.I.P MICHAEL JACKSON -- that is so sad, never in a million years would i have though michael, but i mean everyone has their time. i jst dont think it was his time to go, love and respect goes with him and his family . may his soul lay to rest in peace :|.

well thats it for now until then

VOGUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

BROKEN-HEARTED [girl].

chasing pavements ...

IF YOU ADMIRE SOMEBODY YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD AND TELL `EM .
PEOPLE NEVER GET THE FLOWERS WHILE THEY CAN STILL SMELL `EM .

BREAKING POINT .

so i jst made a decision that may take some time to get over, but i'm determined to make it work ; even if it kills me . i jst can't take the feeling of being useless and worthless; i jst won`t date for a while , i'm jst going to work on me and my own happiness and if leaving you is the first step, SO BE IT . i jst need something one hundred percent real; that makes me happy twenty-four seven . but that`s impossible;

i`m only human . IF YOU HAVEN`T NOTICED; i`m not perfect never will and never has been . ONE DAY someone is going to notice that but see me as this perfect individual and won`t hold any of my flaws against me . &also someone who knows when they`re in the wrong; &ADMITS to the mistakes but jst apologizes for them and we're over it; that may take months, years, decades BUT one day, one day i`ll have that . UNTIL THEN


VOGUEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Take That .. Take That *diddy voice*.

SCRATCH THAT!
i leave monday after my test :)
ROAD TRIPPPPPPP! fast food is the best
on the roaad :) jst saying ..

Make LOVE;

"but I know I worry too much cuhz them bitches be all on your nuts
but its just me caring, you know I love you too much!"JL.

i love the fact we always fight and can never compromise because at the end of the day i know opposites do attract; and if we do fall we bounce right back; i'm your wife for life, don't you ever doubt me. we're perfect, we'll make a perfect family :) Khai Mychal & Haasan`Antonio :) <3.

Monday-first summer school test :).
i`m confident about passing it;

Tuesday-Texas :) i`m really excited to vist my maw-maw! (my grandmother).
of course my aunts and uncles and cousins tooo; but mostly the woman who made me :].
i love you Lillie Mae Parker :).

well i have nothing else for now until next time
VOGUEEEEEEEEEEE!

eight letters

I LOVE YOU :D

i truly don`t know how i tolerate you, but i do! AND I LOVE YOU;;

now that everything is normal i shall tell you whats up in my life;
i`m currently attending this summer school, it's great; and im glad
i got this opportunity. i really hope mr.attila passes me, i need his class
forreal! he`s given me trouble all second semester grrr! BUT i know i aced
all of my other classes, PIECE OF CAKE;


tomorrow is my boyfriend's graduation party, i`m actually not nervous suprisingly;
and then monday is graduation! i`m definitely proud of you`. & ALSO to nick; CONGRATS! i`m proud of you guys! MONDAY IS YOUR DAY! one day` ya`ll will blog about me and my day! HOLLAAAAA!




p.s. nex aint naked out here in these streeets! *random; i knowww`.

my birthday is around the corner, seriously twenty-five days!
don`t you hate when people say what are you getting me?
grrrr`. WELL what` are you getting me. aahaha, just kidding;

i jst want peace and quiet. CHICKEN TENDERS & honey mustard;
AND MY BOYFRIEND of course; yummy. but really i`m going to the
aquarium and the atrium; HOW COOL IS THAT? i`ve never been there;
so i`m excited; although i have to work around his schedule; it`s cool.

well until we meet again
VOGUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

S U M M E R . SELFNOTE!

Dear Tyler,
I understand the type of pain you're in at this point. I know you think everything has just gotten worst over the last couple of days, right? Well sometimes you lose some and win some, but you can't win everything. Just cause you lose doesn't mean you can't bounce back. You're capable of bouncing back, whether you believe it or not. It doesn't have to be right away, just don't dwell on the past because you'll never experience what the future tastes like. Go out or something, do something you wouldn't normally do. Gain yourself back! exchange numbers, have fun with life, it won't be here forever. Life's to short to just be waiting on one guy.
I know you like sex; have some! aha . wrap it though; He's obviously showed you he's not gonna be there forever so go get someone who will. Just be you and do everything YOUR WAY & ON YOUR TIME ;].


back to summerr ------> SCHOOL'S OUT!
officially a senior :)
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh; i've been waiting for this forever.
so many things are approaching that makes me feel little again. like i was just
fourteen yesterday, ninth gradee, first crush<3. first love<3. first breakup<3.
first real fight<3 first suspension<3. ahh memories. now look at me, sixteen1/2<3
senior<3. first true love<3. first time<3 great grades<3 summer school<3. LOL,

ahhh life's great. although this may be my last summer in vegas; hello texas :/
bittersweeet . situation .
anyways.

registration was soooo packed today, boyfriend was irritated horribly which led us the wrong way today. :| i won't talk about it . but thank god i have a couple close friends that can help me with it . and my mom is an extremely big help LOVE YOU.
well until next timeeeee.

VOGUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE .